In our society nowadays, we are being told by the media and friends and family around us that orgasm is almost the whole point of sex. Even in pornographic movies, the heroine will have many orgasms, which misleads many people, who then feel that not having an orgasm is not normal, that they want to have an orgasm, that they should have an orgasm. Is that really true? No, it’s not that simple. If you are unable to orgasm or only have occasional orgasms, you will want to experience orgasms very badly, yet if you can have consistent orgasms, you want more of them. Let’s explore the reasons for not being able to orgasm!

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What is an orgasm?

Orgasm is the release of sexual tension accumulated during the sexual response, resulting in rhythmic muscle contractions and outwardly characterized sexual pleasure in the pelvic area. The orgasm exhibited by both males and females is controlled by the autonomic nervous system. The onset of orgasm is physically manifested by tensing of the toes, twitching, and moaning, which are involuntary behaviors that lead to feelings of joy and satisfaction. After orgasm, it brings a period of reprieve, and the vast majority of men cannot have two erections seamlessly, because of this, it is very difficult for men to have a sustained orgasm.

What does an orgasm look like for men and women in a gender relationship?

For men, the most direct and effective way to achieve orgasm is through physical stimulation of the genitals, and men’s orgasms are often accompanied by ejaculatory manifestations. However, it is also possible to have a non-ejaculatory performance, which is relatively rare. For men, after orgasm needs a period of recovery, also known as the period of inappropriateness, this time has a long and short, depending on the person.

For women, the clitoris can be stimulated to achieve orgasm, the use of fingers, mouth and tongue or sex toys and other clitoral stimulation. Some women, however, can reach orgasm with only indirect clitoral stimulation. The sensation of orgasm in women varies according to the intensity of the stimulation, and the frequency of orgasm and the degree to which it is achieved varies from person to person. Female orgasms take longer than male orgasms. When a woman has an orgasm, her pelvic region will contract, her body will spasm and twitch, and she will unconsciously let out a moaning sound.

How long does it take to have an orgasm?

Most people don’t have orgasms when they want to, maybe only very sensitive people for whom a little stimulation is a big shock, but that’s only a small percentage of people. Normal people, regardless of the stimulation of that part of the body, it will take at least a few minutes to reach orgasm, and it usually takes ten to twenty minutes of sexual stimulation to reach orgasm. Multiple reasons for inability to orgasm?

So what kind of reasons are there for those who don’t have orgasms often or ever? Let’s explore.

1. Effect of age

As we age, our body levels and hormonal health change and can affect our libido. For women, once they enter menopause, their body’s estrogen and progesterone will decrease, they will become emotionally irritable, and their libido will subside. In men, the body produces less testosterone during menopause, leading to decreased energy and libido, which can lead to erectile dysfunction. Men and women who want to mitigate the effects of age is to focus on exercise.

2. Side effects of medications

You need to know that medications can have side effects, such as SSRIs, antihypertensives, and antihistamines, all of which have the effect of inhibiting a person’s ability to reach orgasm. Excessive or prolonged consumption of medications can affect blood circulation and slow down the brain’s responsiveness, which can reduce libido and make it more difficult for a person to reach orgasm.

3. Mental health

If you feel stressed for a long time, it will increase the production of cortisol in your body, which will affect other hormones. How much stress the brain feels reduces the ability to reach peak sexual pleasure. And feeling stressed for a long time can increase our negative emotions such as anxiety and irritability, which affects our inner comfort level. If we focus on the problems we encounter, negative emotions, etc., it is difficult to maintain a calm attitude and focus on the actual feelings.

4. Lack of foreplay action

Foreplay not only has a physiological role, can make the female vagina better moist role, but also can be a psychological preparation for sex. No one can proceed directly to the subject, which is not good for both sides, the sexual experience will be painful. Carry out foreplay action, can improve your sexual excitement, establish emotional intimacy, so that both sides have a more comfortable and perfect sex life.

If you feel that your foreplay lacks passion or doesn’t get you in the mood for sex, maybe adding a sex toy is the answer. I recommend you try the rose toy, a small rose-shaped clitoris toy that can simulate sucking on the clitoris to bring intense pleasure, and no woman can refuse a rose that makes her orgasm.

5. Not communicating with your partner

If you usually do not communicate with your partner to express what you like and what you do not like, it will limit your pleasure potential. And communication allows both partners to understand each other better, build trust and security, and engage in sexual behaviors that are consistent with both partners. You can also communicate with your partner about your sexual fantasies and enhance your relationship.

Relax yourself

We put so much emphasis on having an orgasm during sex, using it as a sign of a successful sexual experience that leads to results. But when you don’t experience an orgasm, you’re incredibly disappointed, you feel like you’re not the same as everyone else, and anxiety and irritation affect your mood. Although orgasm is a wonderful part of sex and can make you experience an explosion of sensation look in that moment, having an orgasm doesn’t mean that your sex is exciting, and not having one doesn’t mean that you’re not having fun. We should relax ourselves and treat every sex as a journey into the unknown, an orgasm is like a surprise on the way, it doesn’t matter if there are no surprises, the important thing is to enjoy the journey.