Let’s talk about the bedroom (or wherever you prefer to get filthy). Some people like to keep it simple – the ol’ missionary, lights-off scenario, and God forbid any direct eye contact. Bless.

But then there’s the rest of us, thinking, “I wonder what it’d be like to…?” and “How come I get hard as rock when…?” That’s the space where kinks and fetishes come in. And guess what? They’re more common than you’d believe.

But before we dive into how to find out what tickles your pickle, let’s get the basics sorted first: what’s the difference between a kink and a fetish?

Kinks vs. Fetishes: So, What’s the Difference?

Most people talk about kinks and fetishes like they’re the same thing, but they’re not. Think of them as two wild friends at the party: they vibe with each other, but they’re not always on the same page.

Kinks are like that extra spice you sprinkle into the recipe for fun. They’re basically anything that adds a bit of extra heat to your sex life, but isn’t essential for you to get turned on. They can be super common or a little more niche.

Love a good spanking session? That’s a kink. Into role-playing as a sexy firefighter or naughty teacher? Kink. It’s just something that makes sex more exciting, but you could also have fun without it.

On the other hand, fetishes are a whole different beast. A fetish is when someone needs a specific object, body part, or scenario to really get off. Unlike kinks, fetishes are central to arousal. Without this particular element, things just don’t quite click into place.

For example, if someone has a foot fetish, they need feet involved in some way to be fully turned on. Kinks are like optional extras on your car – fetishes are the engine.

Confused? Let’s Break it Down

Basically, all fetishes are kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes. If it’s still not making sense, here’s a bunch of examples to clear it up:

Kinks:

1. BDSM: Bondage, Dominance, Submission, and Masochism. Whether you’re into getting tied up or dishing out commands, this one’s all about power play.
2. Spanking: Who doesn’t love a good tap on the ass?
3. Role-play: Playing out scenarios that get you hot. Want to pretend you’re the naughty teacher giving the bad student a good hiding? Go for it.
4. Voyeurism: Getting turned on by watching others engage in sexual acts.
5. Exhibitionism: Being turned on by being watched, or just pretty much exposing yourself.
6. Edging: Teasing yourself (or your partner) to the brink of orgasm and then pulling back.
7. Humiliation: Some people get a rush from being embarrassed or teased during sex – just know there’s a line you probably shouldn’t cross.

Fetishes:

1. Foot Fetish: Loving feet? You and millions more – this is one of the most common fetishes out there.
2. Leather Fetish: Something about the feel, smell, or look of leather that just drives people wild.
3. Lingerie Fetish: Getting turned on by lace, silk, or other fabrics typically associated with sexy underwear.
4. Food Fetish: Some people mix food and sex (think whipped cream, but some go a lot further—like baked beans. Yup. Baked beans.).
5. Uniform Fetish: Cop, fireman, nurse—if you can buy it at a Halloween store, someone’s probably got a thing for it.
6. Hair Fetish: Odd, but true. Whether it’s long, short, facial or pubic, some people get their kicks from the strands.
7. Latex Fetish: Similar to leather, but latex lovers dig the slick, shiny look of it. Plus, it’s tight as hell…and nice and squeaky.

How to Discover Your Own Kinks and Fetishes

So now you might be sitting there like, “Okay, this sounds fun, but how do I know what I like?” First things first: Don’t be afraid to explore. Sex doesn’t have to be serious all the time. You’re allowed to laugh, have awkward moments, and figure out what works for you without the pressure to perform like a pornstar on your first go. Better yet, try the magic cheat code – hit up an online escorts directory and go nuts. No strings, no awkward next-morning hangover, no judgment. Just a good time and a chance to figure out what you’re really into.